But God, What If I Fail?

Written By: Aunya Brown

Has anyone ever looked at you and said, “There is a calling on your life,” “God has a plan for you,” “I can tell you are destined to do great things.” That has been said to me many times, and I sit, and I think, “But, God, what if I fail?”

I see you preaching from the pulpit, a stage, or a street corner. Leading many by way of the Holy Spirit through deliverance, prophecy, or even healing at the altar. These are all places to be a witness to the glory of God. Also, these are places to bear the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, but the watering happens in the waiting, the tarrying, and the precious time in the secret place.

God has graced us all with purpose, a purpose to do His will, to proclaim His name, and spread the Gospel of His teachings, miracles, healing, crucifixion, death, burial, and resurrection. A purpose for some that feels heavy, filled with anxiety, hopelessness, and doubt.

Matthew 28:16-20, New King James Version

The Great Commission

16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go [a]therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” [b]Amen.

I, for one, walked into the doors of my home church and was prepared to be a student. I wanted to learn the character of the very Jesus Christ; I claimed to others saved me. I was excited to share what I have learned. But, under that, I held a secret; I desired to be free from the expectation of application. I had no desire to be in ministry; I could serve on a team here or there, maybe greet some people, and fellowship. I was content with living the rest of my God-given life being a student only. Like, Jesus is the ultimate Teacher. He taught us how to pray, how to submit to the Father, how to love each other, and so much more. So God, why couldn’t I just stay a student?

Then I remember all those who tried it, Moses, we know how that ended. Jonah ended up in the belly. But, ultimately, I think of Esther, who, if she had not spoken, the Jews would have been killed. So, it all clicked. I am not afraid of my speech, I’m not harboring a disdain for God’s people. I know the weight of a soul, and I couldn’t imagine the multitude that God could entrust me with to speak His words. For those who are like me and God said that it is time to step into ministry, know that…

2 Timothy 1:7, New King James Version

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

God is not going to place you on a journey and leave you to figure it out. Seek Him continuously, and He will order your steps. Moses shared his fears, and God gave Him a solution; God was also there for him through the journey. Moses sought Him when he did not know what to say or do. But Moses’ story is a cautionary tale: do not let the very ones you are set to deliver make you miss your promise. Frustration in serving God’s chosen is real, but remember His instructions are clear and He does not operate in confusion.

Also, place forgiveness in your heart early. People may disappoint you, but leading with love and heart, ready to forgive, can ensure you don’t allow your flesh to lead you down a disobedient path. Jonah was not a fan of the Ninevites; he believed they were just adulterous and sinful people.

Jonah 4,1-2New King James Version

Jonah’s Anger and God’s Kindness

1 But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. 2 So he prayed to the Lord, and said, “Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore, I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm.

Although we care and do not want God’s name to be tarnished, we must understand that God’s mercy and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was for all of humanity, not just the ones we feel deserve mercy. If we are to be frank, we are all deserving of Hell, but God’s mercy and redemptive act on the cross washed us.

Now, it is great that we understand the caution, but the fear of blood on your hands is real; God is not calling for a perfect servant; He is calling for a faithful one.

Matthew 25:22-23, New King James Version

22 He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ 23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

Do not store up your talents, fearing that you may lose them. For whom much is given, much is required of us. God has given you talents, gifts, even resources, not for yourself but to serve Him and His people. Like Esther, if you hold on to your favor and do not use it to save God’s people, His anointed can be impacted, and that is where the weight of the souls will be on your hand. No one can take what God has given you unless you give it away or you do not steward it well.

My prayer for you is that God continues to grow and mature you, that you let go of this fear that was not yours to have anyway. I pray that the gifts God has given you, you offer them up to Him, for His Holy Spirit will guide you and instruct you on how to operate His ministry. I pray that you understand that all ministry b belongs to the King; if you remain prostrate before Him, His strength will be the driving force. I pray that you are a willing vessel that understands the Saviour has redeemed you and commissioned you to make disciples. I pray the matchless, mighty, and conquering King brings you peace, His peace that surpasses all understanding. In Jesus name, amen.